well with the upcoming holidays i have been down recently, i guess when you plan for the future you don't really plan for what you didn't want to happen.
i operated on the grounds that the direction i was going would be beneficial to my wife her daughter our baby and myself.
it was not, i am not too depressed thou because i am still holding on to the smallest and slightest chance that in the future if she wants she can return to me and trust that i will still be ready to be a father and a husband.
The Lord has put me through a lot and in each trial i realize how much more dependent i am on Him.
God knows how i feel about my wife, how i still have her pictures on my wall, how i saved our vows, how i got her on my phone as the main wallpaper, how i started wearing my ring again to remind myself of the commitment i made to her.
some would say well, she hasn't upheld her end so why do you still uphold yours, i can but merely answer them with a smile, I LOVE MY Wife...
even if she pursues this divorce and i see her in court i will still feel the same way.
for me this bond is permanent not legally but spiritually, we share a child together and for that i will always be dad, even when she finds someone better and my child calls them dad( much like Gracie did with me) i will still be connected to her in some way or another, not to mention she is part of the body of Christ and so this too, is a connection that her and i both share.
so many people are enjoying the season of being married and relationships and as well am i, i have the Lord.
i removed the song on my myspace profile because i realized i am "not Over Her" nor will i ever be..
very unfortunate for any of the ladies that may be marriage material in the future because even though my wife has left no woman can take the place that was reserved in my heart for One wife, for One marriage for One life together.
well together we are no more, in a physical sense, maybe she thinks about me every once in a while maybe she doesn't maybe she and you who read this hate me, well so be it...
I love her and i don't care if people say that it is wrong for me to love the woman who i chose to spend the rest of my life with..
we share the same goals, to be married, to be happy to have a family, well then I'll see you soon!..
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Hymns for the Little Flock, #169
Lord, we can see, by faith in Thee,
A prospect bright, unfailing;
Where God shall shine, in light divine,
In glory never fading.
A home above, of peace and love,
Close to Thy holy person;
Thy saints shall there see glory fair,
And shine as Thy reflection.
O how we thirst the chains to burst,
That weigh our spirits downward;
And there to flow in love's full glow,
With hearts like Thine surrounded.
No more as here, 'mid snares to fear
A thought or wish unholy;
No more to pain the Lamb once slain,
But live to love Thee wholly!
No more to view Thy chosen few
In selfish strife divided;
But drink in peace the living grace
That gave them hearts united!
Lord, haste that day of cloudless ray,
That prospect bright, unfailing;
Where God shall shine in light divine,
In glory never fading.
We have prayed for you, as the Lord said to Peter, "that thy faith fail not". We feel very much for you and suffer with you in this hard time. Don't know just what all you're going thru, but God knows and He cares. May you be encouraged in the Lord and stand strong in Christ!
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